the birds and the bees... with zachary

tonight it happened. i have been prepared for months for tali to ask "the question". i had a response ready that i felt she would understand and accept. i believe in being honest with my children, not sugar-coating facts, using proper terminology... but doing so in a way that is on their level. i was fairly confident that i had made it to tali's level...

but it was not tali that asked me "the question". always full of surprises, it was our little man, zach. i don't know why i'm surprised... tali is like me, she just accepts things at face value (she's been satisfied with my explanation that "God puts them there" for years now). zach is our observer. the one sitting in the third row, studying everything going on, looking beyond the obvious to those nuances that so many of us miss. perhaps i should have known "the question" would come from him. but of course, i was too busy accepting things at face value and assuming my older child would clearly be the one to get "there" first.

in any case... it went something like this...

zach (picture here big brown eyes, mussed blonde curls, and a very earnest face): "mommy, how do babies get in girls bellies"
me (picture here a look of shock, a good bit of stammering, a deep breath, and eventual): "did brooke tell you to ask me that?" I know, mother-of-the-year... but I was sure he had asked brooke, who is OBVIOUSLY pregnant now and she had shoveled him off on me as any self-respecting aunt/babysitter would do.
zach: "no, i just was wondering"
me (thinking easy-way-out): "well, when a man and woman are in love, they get married, and God lets them have babies"
zach: "oooooooooooooooh"
me (that was easy!)

zach: "but HOW does the baby GET IN her belly?"
me (oh, not so easy): "well, God puts the baby in there and it's very small at first."
zach: "ooooooooooooooo000000h"
me (phew!)

zach: "but how does the little itsy bitsy tiny baby get IN there"
me (quick prayer inserted here): "well, you know how you have special parts that girls don't have?"
zach: "yes"
me: "what is that part?"
zach (pointing)
me: "right! and girls have a special part that boys don't have..."
zach: "yeah! BOOBS!" zach is more than a little obsessed with boobs. i will leave out the details, but here he filled me in on every observation he's ever made of them, including that little boys and girls have flat ones, daddies sometimes have flat ones and sometimes medium ones, and mommies have BIG ones that can feed babies.
me: "yes, their boobs are different but they have something else that is different"
zach (pointing again)
me: "right. and God made them so special that when boys and girls grow up to be men and women... and they are in love and married... they fit together in a special way and THAT'S how the baby gets in there".
zach: "ooooooooooOOOOoOOOOOOHHHhhhHH! i see. thank you mommy"

i honestly have no idea what he really thinks happens. i do not know if i pass or fail this test of parenting. but for the moment at least, he appears to be satisfied.

tell me, wouldn't you love to be there when he attempts to explain it to tali?


Anna Osmon said...

oh goodness. Well i know down the road when I get married and have kids...I'm sending them your way for the Question! :) hah! But I thought they came from China! :)

BeckyB. said...

ahhh, yes, how simple was "the talk" when tali was zach's age... knowing they came from "China" was enough...she never bothered to ask how the babies got IN CHINA to start off!

anyway, from what i hear... the good ones DO come from china... right carol? lauren?


Carol said...

Too funny...I can see his wheels spinning the whole time you're having this discussion. Where's Jim when you need him? lol

And yes, the good ones Do come from China. Unfortunately, they come with a hefty price tag, though, or I'd put my order in.

love ya!

Lauren said...

Carol, I concur!

Give us an update if he tries to tell Tali.