08: jim

Confession... [I am already beginning to cry and I haven't even written anything yet.]

That's how much I love the man I am lucky enough to spend my life with. There are not words in the English language to adequately explain what it is like to love someone like Jim Boyles. I remember the first time I ever saw him. He was climbing onto the school bus, and as he looked at me a smile spread across his face. But this was no ordinary smile... Jim has the most incredible smile I have ever seen. It's like fireworks, exploding with delight in his eyes... it's a smile that still today causes my heart to fall for him all over again.

I sit here and wonder, how could it be that I would meet the love of my life when I was only fifteen years old? That I would hold in my heart twenty years of memories with the man I love? That I would find the one that would walk this path with me, for better or worse, richer or poorer?  When I think about that teenage boy that climbed onto the school bus in the light of the man that I spend all my days with I am amazed. My how we have grown. Certainly, the last two decades have had their fair share of mistakes, poor decisions, and hurt... but they have also been full of new life, joy, laughter, love, and of course, smiles.

Jim Boyles is a man who loves well. And I am so blessed to have that in my life... day in and day out.

As I sit here, I can hear him hammering away as he makes me one of these  [check out that cool barn wood headboard I found on pintrest... you want one too, don't ya?]... at some point today he has gathered up old barn wood, and now he is spending his evening out in the garage. Just to make me something.

Saturday night as I thought about a photoshoot I would be doing the next day, I remembered a wooden train we keep in our Christmas decorations. When he saw "wooden train" scribbled on my to-do list for the next morning he said "that is going to be impossible to find! it's waaaaaay in the back of all of those boxes of decorations"... but what he did was get up the next morning and found it.

That's just the way he loves.

With hammer and nails and old barn wood. Or a step ladder and teetering boxes of Christmas decorations. Or a can of gas and a friend at the side of the road. Or a box of shingles up on the roof. Or a hood up on the church van. Or burgers on the grill. Or long, hot evenings at the ball park.

Some people love with words. Some people love with gifts. Jim loves with his life. He's one who does for those people and things he cares about. He may say it can't be done... but somehow, he always seems to find a way. Which is a good thing when you are married to someone like me, who is forever coming up with another hair brained scheme that she just can't do without your help.

Jim... I cannot imagine life without you. The way that you father our children, as a man that they can look up to and admire, is uncommon in this world today. My heart swells as I see you raising up as a man of courage, unashamed of your faith. But mostly, thank you for loving me. For supporting me and my crazy ideas. For building me barn wood headboards and back drops. For planting a dream in my heart and then being my constant encourager as I walk it out. For reading my blog. For your complete inability to hack my facebook (ha!). For stepping over piles of creativity in the living room when I am in a crafting fervor. For teaching me how to use a hammer properly. For loving me without make-up. For letting me hold the remote.  For allowing me to chase Jesus with all I have, even when it means late nights and crazy ideas.

There's more. There's so much more. But ugly cry makes it hard to see the screen to type... and so I will just say, thank you for loving me.  I know it's hard sometimes. I know that I can be moody, and difficult, and demanding. Yet you love me just the same.... Jim, my life would be less without you. I would be less without you. Thank you for helping me find me... thank you for loving, and for loving well.