As Jim flipped through the channels today, he stumbled on the end of the movie Walk the Line. I hear it's a good movie, but all I've seen of it are the ten minutes we caught today. And as He seems to be doing to me a lot lately, God spoke. Johnny Cash was apparently meeting with some sort of record execs (they had suits on and looked official at least) about a show he wanted to record at a prison. They were obviously not big fans of the idea, and were trying to talk him out of it. This guy was explaining to Johnny (I scribbled this down quickly, so it probably isn't an exact quote)... "Your fans are good folks, Johnny, Christians... they don't want to hear you singing to a bunch of murderers and theives in a prison, tryin' to cheer them up".
Johnny's response...
"Then they aren't Christians".
Ouch.
There are a lot of people in this world, specifically in this country, that call themselves Christian but have never done one single, solitary thing to demonstrate a life led by Christ. In fact, there are a lot of church-goers who would sit in judgement just as this record exec predicted. But Jesus tells us to go to the prisons, to the needy, to the widows and orphans. He tells us that if we love Him, we will feed His sheep. That if we love Him, we will love our brothers. That if we love Him, we will be radically changed, a new creation, peculiar.
To be honest, I have too much going on in my mind and my heart right now to adequately communicate the whisperings of my Creator. I have written and rewritten this post. I want to share. I want to tell you about it. I want to challenge my brothers and sisters in the same way I've been challenged. But my words aren't working... In the words of Elvis... I'm all shook up.
It's a good thing. A God thing. He's calling us to change, church. And I'm excited.
2.22.2009
2.19.2009
100th post!
This is officially my 100th blog post! Not bad for someone who can't seem to remain focused on any one hobby or project for longer than 30 seconds!
Thanks for those of you who take the time to read the wild ramblings of a little girl seeking after the heart of her beautiful Creator. Thank you for your encouraging words. For your love and support during the hard times. Thank you for allowing me to be real. To be me.
God is doing some AMAZING things. He's calling us into deeper relationship, and I look forward to sharing the mighty works of His hands! Stay tuned, blogerotsky... 'cause God's about to move this place!
Praising Him!
Thanks for those of you who take the time to read the wild ramblings of a little girl seeking after the heart of her beautiful Creator. Thank you for your encouraging words. For your love and support during the hard times. Thank you for allowing me to be real. To be me.
God is doing some AMAZING things. He's calling us into deeper relationship, and I look forward to sharing the mighty works of His hands! Stay tuned, blogerotsky... 'cause God's about to move this place!
Praising Him!
2.17.2009
granite countertops
I have a confession to make. I love HGTV. I love it. I love Spice Up My Kitchen, Divine Designs, House Hunters, Property Virgins, Designed to Sell, My Big Amazing Renovation... at any given time you can catch me watching one of these shows- or one like it- dreaming dreams of new cabinets and wood flooring, granite countertops and spa-like bathrooms. Aaaaaah. That's living the dream, isn't it?
And then I look around my little house and am smacked in the forehead with reality. Tali and Zach crammed into a bedroom barely big enough for one. A bathroom with vintage 1970's sink, bathtub, and sink in a color of yellow that would make even perky Genevieve a little nauseous. A kitchen so small that Jim and I can barely stand at the sink and stove (which are across the room from each other) without bumping butts. Oh how I dream of a Big, Amazing Renovation of my own. How I would love to knock out half a wall between my kitchen and dining room in order to achieve the "open floor plan" sought by all on House Hunters. How we dream of adding on another bedroom, so Tali and Zach can have their own space. In fact, I spent a good bit of time talking about these exact dreams with some of my beautiful church family on Wednesday.
We want nice things. And if you're honest, you probably want nice things too.
But then, last Thursday, I was happily listening to the radio, giving almost no thought to what was being said. In fact I'm not even sure of the context of this comment- but it smacked me in the forehead with an entirely different reality.
Some sort of montage was playing. Snips and clips from the radio program over the past year. And this guy was saying "I don't need $5000 granite countertops to cut my tomato on".
The radio show host (who probably has granite countertops) laughed... the caller went on "Just think how much support that money would be for a missionary overseas?" and then my mind continued... or the needy family at my kids' school, or the family at church that can't seem to catch a break, or a crisis pregnancy center... That's a lot of money, folks.
This is probably going to sound ridiculous. Maybe it is. But I have not been able to shake this man's words from my head. "I don't need $5000 granite countertops to cut my tomato on". How many times have my hubby and I watched these home improvement shows together, critiquing their choices of stone, cabinets, and hardware? Applauding their choice of stainless steel appliances over slick black designs? Dreaming of a day we would own a kitchen like that of our own? Wanting shiny and new things, things I could be proud of.
what a spoiled brat i am.
If I am really honest, we have what we need. We have a kitchen. And a bathroom. And places to sleep, eat, and rest. We have luxuries that are just that- luxuries. Game systems, dvd players, televisions, computers. We have heat and air conditioning, electricity and running water.
Somewhere in the world there is someone sleeping on a dirt floor. A child going hungry. A mother dying because she can't get the antibiotic she needs (the same antibiotic I just threw away because Zach didn't finish his prescription last time). Places where indoor plumbing is unheard of. And I am whining because my toilet is yellow.
How hung up have we become on things in this country! THINGS. When the money we spend on those things could feed a starving family. I know that it sounds cliche, but I am asking you to take a moment and really, really think about that... when was the last time you went hungry (and I don't mean "too busy to eat" hungry but I have no food hungry). We don't know what it's like. We can't remember. This scripture was on my day planner for today:
When you have eaten your fill in this land, be careful not to forget the LORD, who rescued you from the land of Egypt. [Deut 6:11-12]
God is delivering His people into the Promised Land. He has rescued them from slavery and brought them through the desert. It's the moment they have waited for... entering the land of milk and honey... but God knows the risk. He knows the wicked heart and short memory of man, so He reminds them [us]... when you've eaten your fill, don't forget me.
I believe that God wants us to have what we need. But we've become gluttonous Christians, haven't we? We don't want to stop with our fill, we want to eat until our stomachs hurt. We want to put our Jesus Fish on the back of a nice, shiny car. We want to live in a home where we can easily entertain our church friends, and show off our pretty things. We want to go to a church that is "modern" and "fresh". We want to wear cute clothes. Carry fancy hand bags. We want master baths, dual sinks, please. We want to cut our tomatoes on a granite countertop. But what of the money we spend on this stuff? The money that would be left over if we really stopped when we have "had our fill"... what else could God use it for if we would allow Him? What could He accomplish if we were really willing to sacrifice for His Kingdom?
Oh friends, I write this as someone as gluttonous as all the rest. If you happen to have granite countertops, don't think I'm talking to you. This one's all for me. I have things that I want [insert iPod touch here], and things that I will probably eventually buy that I don't need. But what would happen if I really let the Lord take hold of my finances and use them for HIS will? What if as a Body we all did the same? What if our churches stopped looking around at the physical work that needs done and see the spiritual repairs that are so much more important? My pastor, Seth, is quoted as saying during a mission meeting "Well, if we are going to go broke I don't see any better way to do it than feeding God's children."
That's the mind we need to have. That's the heart change I need. Meeting the needs of His people rather than the desires of this spoiled brat.
God has delivered us, church! He has freed us from the chains of sin and death. He has given us the gift of eternal life! What's that worth? How much are we willing to sacrifice out of love and obedience to the one who sacrificed EVERYTHING for us? Are we willing to give "til it hurts". Are we willing to offer our abundance to the least of these? Are we willing to meet His children at their point of need? To be His hands and feet? To acknowlege that none of this is ours in the first place? To stop worrying about whether or not something is "dated" and instead worry about how it could be used for His kingdom? To stop being ashamed by my little, dissheveled, mess of a house and instead realize that this home can be used for ministry? It's a challenge, church. The question is, are we up for it?
Are we willing to worry more about the tomato... about the need... than we do the granite countertop?? Are we?
And then I look around my little house and am smacked in the forehead with reality. Tali and Zach crammed into a bedroom barely big enough for one. A bathroom with vintage 1970's sink, bathtub, and sink in a color of yellow that would make even perky Genevieve a little nauseous. A kitchen so small that Jim and I can barely stand at the sink and stove (which are across the room from each other) without bumping butts. Oh how I dream of a Big, Amazing Renovation of my own. How I would love to knock out half a wall between my kitchen and dining room in order to achieve the "open floor plan" sought by all on House Hunters. How we dream of adding on another bedroom, so Tali and Zach can have their own space. In fact, I spent a good bit of time talking about these exact dreams with some of my beautiful church family on Wednesday.
We want nice things. And if you're honest, you probably want nice things too.
But then, last Thursday, I was happily listening to the radio, giving almost no thought to what was being said. In fact I'm not even sure of the context of this comment- but it smacked me in the forehead with an entirely different reality.
Some sort of montage was playing. Snips and clips from the radio program over the past year. And this guy was saying "I don't need $5000 granite countertops to cut my tomato on".
The radio show host (who probably has granite countertops) laughed... the caller went on "Just think how much support that money would be for a missionary overseas?" and then my mind continued... or the needy family at my kids' school, or the family at church that can't seem to catch a break, or a crisis pregnancy center... That's a lot of money, folks.
This is probably going to sound ridiculous. Maybe it is. But I have not been able to shake this man's words from my head. "I don't need $5000 granite countertops to cut my tomato on". How many times have my hubby and I watched these home improvement shows together, critiquing their choices of stone, cabinets, and hardware? Applauding their choice of stainless steel appliances over slick black designs? Dreaming of a day we would own a kitchen like that of our own? Wanting shiny and new things, things I could be proud of.
what a spoiled brat i am.
If I am really honest, we have what we need. We have a kitchen. And a bathroom. And places to sleep, eat, and rest. We have luxuries that are just that- luxuries. Game systems, dvd players, televisions, computers. We have heat and air conditioning, electricity and running water.
Somewhere in the world there is someone sleeping on a dirt floor. A child going hungry. A mother dying because she can't get the antibiotic she needs (the same antibiotic I just threw away because Zach didn't finish his prescription last time). Places where indoor plumbing is unheard of. And I am whining because my toilet is yellow.
How hung up have we become on things in this country! THINGS. When the money we spend on those things could feed a starving family. I know that it sounds cliche, but I am asking you to take a moment and really, really think about that... when was the last time you went hungry (and I don't mean "too busy to eat" hungry but I have no food hungry). We don't know what it's like. We can't remember. This scripture was on my day planner for today:
When you have eaten your fill in this land, be careful not to forget the LORD, who rescued you from the land of Egypt. [Deut 6:11-12]
God is delivering His people into the Promised Land. He has rescued them from slavery and brought them through the desert. It's the moment they have waited for... entering the land of milk and honey... but God knows the risk. He knows the wicked heart and short memory of man, so He reminds them [us]... when you've eaten your fill, don't forget me.
I believe that God wants us to have what we need. But we've become gluttonous Christians, haven't we? We don't want to stop with our fill, we want to eat until our stomachs hurt. We want to put our Jesus Fish on the back of a nice, shiny car. We want to live in a home where we can easily entertain our church friends, and show off our pretty things. We want to go to a church that is "modern" and "fresh". We want to wear cute clothes. Carry fancy hand bags. We want master baths, dual sinks, please. We want to cut our tomatoes on a granite countertop. But what of the money we spend on this stuff? The money that would be left over if we really stopped when we have "had our fill"... what else could God use it for if we would allow Him? What could He accomplish if we were really willing to sacrifice for His Kingdom?
Oh friends, I write this as someone as gluttonous as all the rest. If you happen to have granite countertops, don't think I'm talking to you. This one's all for me. I have things that I want [insert iPod touch here], and things that I will probably eventually buy that I don't need. But what would happen if I really let the Lord take hold of my finances and use them for HIS will? What if as a Body we all did the same? What if our churches stopped looking around at the physical work that needs done and see the spiritual repairs that are so much more important? My pastor, Seth, is quoted as saying during a mission meeting "Well, if we are going to go broke I don't see any better way to do it than feeding God's children."
That's the mind we need to have. That's the heart change I need. Meeting the needs of His people rather than the desires of this spoiled brat.
God has delivered us, church! He has freed us from the chains of sin and death. He has given us the gift of eternal life! What's that worth? How much are we willing to sacrifice out of love and obedience to the one who sacrificed EVERYTHING for us? Are we willing to give "til it hurts". Are we willing to offer our abundance to the least of these? Are we willing to meet His children at their point of need? To be His hands and feet? To acknowlege that none of this is ours in the first place? To stop worrying about whether or not something is "dated" and instead worry about how it could be used for His kingdom? To stop being ashamed by my little, dissheveled, mess of a house and instead realize that this home can be used for ministry? It's a challenge, church. The question is, are we up for it?
Are we willing to worry more about the tomato... about the need... than we do the granite countertop?? Are we?
1.25.2009
say what?
sitting at the computer, i heard zach laughing and yelling as tali chased him through the house... this is what i overheard next
tali- AAAaaAAAaaAAAAHHHhhHHhhHhhHHHhH!!!!!! [as she catches zach]
zach- oh man, i hate wedgie night.
tali- shoot!
zach- oh well, you can do wedgie night tomorrow.
tali- yeah, since i didn't get your underwear on that one.
they then walked together into their bedroom, sat down, and chatted about whatever was on tv.
as i looked on in utter confusion.
tali- AAAaaAAAaaAAAAHHHhhHHhhHhhHHHhH!!!!!! [as she catches zach]
zach- oh man, i hate wedgie night.
tali- shoot!
zach- oh well, you can do wedgie night tomorrow.
tali- yeah, since i didn't get your underwear on that one.
they then walked together into their bedroom, sat down, and chatted about whatever was on tv.
as i looked on in utter confusion.
1.16.2009
Amazing
As we drove in to have supper tonight, I clicked off the "Jesus music" in the car and switched over to 89.1 for Jim. The kids were so wound up, that it really wasn't until much later, when we stopped for gas on our way home, that we could even hear anything coming through those little speakers... Suddenly Tali pipes in "Mom, is this a good song?" Listening for a minute I realized that, in fact, it wasn't a great song for the kids and answered her accordingly. "Well, where's our church music then?" I love that Tali and Zach both dig on mommy's Christian music... but am more than aware that at times it rubs a little thin on my man. And as he was currently pumping gas in single digit temperatures, I felt a little compromise was in order.
However, as he climbed back in the truck, she asked again - this time getting specific... "Mommy, can you play number 15?" Aaaah, number 15. That may work. You see my friend Carol accidentally stuck a song on the end of my Third Day cd (technically she gave me a cd intended for someone else I think). She wasn't even aware that she had done so until I mentioned it at a much later date. The song found at number 15 is My Savior, My God by Aaron Shust. It's a song that Roger, Courtney, and Jonathan sing frequently (and beautifully), one that Jim has heard them perform twice now, and one that he really likes.
A glance at him told me that he was okay with the genre change. I start the song and look out the window, praising the Lord that somehow He has managed to carve out this moment for our family. To speak to my hubby through this powerful song. To bring us closer together, and to continually woo us into His will.
And then the chorus hit...
First came Tali's voice, strong and proud. Then I could hear Zach singing with all his might.
And finally, I realized Jim was singing too. Quietly at first, but then building.
At first I could just sit there, still looking out the window, afraid to look at Jim and mess up the moment. I had tears in my eyes and a heart nearly exploding with the beauty of it all. I know, it's just a song... I know it's not that big of a deal to some... But I have never had the joy of hearing my family sing praises to the Lord together before. Not all three of them. Never.
In fact, there was a time that I couldn't even imagine it happening. But I'm not skilled to understand... what God has willed what God has planned.... So I thanked God. I thanked Him and thanked Him and thanked Him...
And then I sang too. And it was a thing of beauty.
My Savior, My God. Aaron Shust
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands One who is my Savior
I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For Him to be my Savior
That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
My Savior loves, my Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God He's always gonna be
Yes, living, dying let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior
That He would leave His place on High
And come for sinful men to die
You count it strange so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, My God He is,
My God He's always gonna be (x6)
My Savior lives, My Savior loves
My Savior lives, My Savior loves
However, as he climbed back in the truck, she asked again - this time getting specific... "Mommy, can you play number 15?" Aaaah, number 15. That may work. You see my friend Carol accidentally stuck a song on the end of my Third Day cd (technically she gave me a cd intended for someone else I think). She wasn't even aware that she had done so until I mentioned it at a much later date. The song found at number 15 is My Savior, My God by Aaron Shust. It's a song that Roger, Courtney, and Jonathan sing frequently (and beautifully), one that Jim has heard them perform twice now, and one that he really likes.
A glance at him told me that he was okay with the genre change. I start the song and look out the window, praising the Lord that somehow He has managed to carve out this moment for our family. To speak to my hubby through this powerful song. To bring us closer together, and to continually woo us into His will.
And then the chorus hit...
First came Tali's voice, strong and proud. Then I could hear Zach singing with all his might.
And finally, I realized Jim was singing too. Quietly at first, but then building.
At first I could just sit there, still looking out the window, afraid to look at Jim and mess up the moment. I had tears in my eyes and a heart nearly exploding with the beauty of it all. I know, it's just a song... I know it's not that big of a deal to some... But I have never had the joy of hearing my family sing praises to the Lord together before. Not all three of them. Never.
In fact, there was a time that I couldn't even imagine it happening. But I'm not skilled to understand... what God has willed what God has planned.... So I thanked God. I thanked Him and thanked Him and thanked Him...
And then I sang too. And it was a thing of beauty.
My Savior, My God. Aaron Shust
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands One who is my Savior
I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For Him to be my Savior
That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
My Savior loves, my Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God He's always gonna be
Yes, living, dying let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior
That He would leave His place on High
And come for sinful men to die
You count it strange so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, My God He is,
My God He's always gonna be (x6)
My Savior lives, My Savior loves
My Savior lives, My Savior loves
friday flashback
A good friend of mine suggested I share this story [for many of you- again] as a Friday Flashback. It's a fun story, but one with a point as well, so it seemed like a great idea. Then, this morning our fabulous church secretary called to let me know Tali will be the scripture reader and to provide me with the passage... which, of course, fit perfectly with the already requested story. So there you have it, confirmation that I'm to blog this and proof that God loves to use my own embarassment to His glory.
A couple of years ago someone I love very much was in the midst of the most profound grief one can imagine, and he asked a favor of me- "Could you run to the liquor store and pick up a case of beer"? Uggggggh. I am not judging his desire to have a couple of beers during such a time as this (or any other time for that matter)... I just hate to be seen at the liquor store! No time to argue though, so I hopped in the car and away I went. No big deal.
Until a week later at SonShine Kids. I was the group leader for second and third graders and I loved those kids and I like to think that those kids loved me. We were getting ready to move from one station to the next and I had my group all lined up. The little girl in the front was one of my favorites (I know you aren't supposed to have those, but let's be real here, we all do)... she was from somewhat of a rough home, didn't have much materialistically but had a love for Jesus and the sweetest heart. What happened next is inscribed in my memory to the smallest detail, like a movie.
Looking up at me, with her sweet little voice, she said "I saw you at the liquor store".
"No, honey, I don't think that was me. I don't drink..." I answered with a confused expression on my face.
"Yes, it was you, and you had beer".
This is where that sinking feeling started in my gut. You know that feeling.
"Oh. Oh, honey... yes... that was me. I can't really explain that, but it wasn't for me..." To follow was some stammering and broken explanation that I was doing a favor for a friend. And conviction from the Lord... The World is Watching.
Dear Friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us. [1 Peter 2:11-12]
The world is watching... and God asks us to live our lives in such a way that even if they accuse us of doing wrong the lives we live will testify differently. Someone said recently- the best sermons are LIVED, not preached. So true! Are you living out your sermon?
Now, I have to honestly say, I probably wouldn't have changed going to the liquor store that day. The time and the requestor was such that it was not the appropriate time to argue about a case of beer, he was in the midst of grief at it's rawest form, so who am I? But the lesson in this for me was to always keep in mind that people are watching. If you profess to be a Christian, if you say that you are trying to be more like Jesus, they are watching. What do they see? Of course we are going to fall short of perfection, and there will be times we are "caught in the act"... but overall am I living a life worthy of the call? Am I living up to His command: "Be holy as I am holy"? When the world sees me, do they see a "peculiar" person (well, of course they do! but not THAT kind of peculiar!)? Do they see something different about me? Do they see Jesus?
This is what we are striving for, friends. We should be different. We should respond differently to the trials of this old world. We should behave differently. We should live our lives as aliens and strangers, because this world is not our home! We are called to something much greater... Now let's live like we believe it!!!
A couple of years ago someone I love very much was in the midst of the most profound grief one can imagine, and he asked a favor of me- "Could you run to the liquor store and pick up a case of beer"? Uggggggh. I am not judging his desire to have a couple of beers during such a time as this (or any other time for that matter)... I just hate to be seen at the liquor store! No time to argue though, so I hopped in the car and away I went. No big deal.
Until a week later at SonShine Kids. I was the group leader for second and third graders and I loved those kids and I like to think that those kids loved me. We were getting ready to move from one station to the next and I had my group all lined up. The little girl in the front was one of my favorites (I know you aren't supposed to have those, but let's be real here, we all do)... she was from somewhat of a rough home, didn't have much materialistically but had a love for Jesus and the sweetest heart. What happened next is inscribed in my memory to the smallest detail, like a movie.
Looking up at me, with her sweet little voice, she said "I saw you at the liquor store".
"No, honey, I don't think that was me. I don't drink..." I answered with a confused expression on my face.
"Yes, it was you, and you had beer".
This is where that sinking feeling started in my gut. You know that feeling.
"Oh. Oh, honey... yes... that was me. I can't really explain that, but it wasn't for me..." To follow was some stammering and broken explanation that I was doing a favor for a friend. And conviction from the Lord... The World is Watching.
Dear Friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us. [1 Peter 2:11-12]
The world is watching... and God asks us to live our lives in such a way that even if they accuse us of doing wrong the lives we live will testify differently. Someone said recently- the best sermons are LIVED, not preached. So true! Are you living out your sermon?
Now, I have to honestly say, I probably wouldn't have changed going to the liquor store that day. The time and the requestor was such that it was not the appropriate time to argue about a case of beer, he was in the midst of grief at it's rawest form, so who am I? But the lesson in this for me was to always keep in mind that people are watching. If you profess to be a Christian, if you say that you are trying to be more like Jesus, they are watching. What do they see? Of course we are going to fall short of perfection, and there will be times we are "caught in the act"... but overall am I living a life worthy of the call? Am I living up to His command: "Be holy as I am holy"? When the world sees me, do they see a "peculiar" person (well, of course they do! but not THAT kind of peculiar!)? Do they see something different about me? Do they see Jesus?
This is what we are striving for, friends. We should be different. We should respond differently to the trials of this old world. We should behave differently. We should live our lives as aliens and strangers, because this world is not our home! We are called to something much greater... Now let's live like we believe it!!!
1.05.2009
With Our Doors
A week or two ago I was perusing our church website. It's recently redesigned and so I was clicking all the links, checking out the spread, when I found a little error... the Sunday School class I teach, Without Walls, was incorrectly listed as "With Our Doors". At first I laughed, because this is a typically Seth typo [no offense, Seth, it's just the truth]... But as I emailed him about it, a hard truth began to settle in. I realized that as much as we as a Body strive for a life without walls... what we usually achieve is a life with our doors.
Doors that we open and close at will. Doors that we use to let people see what we want them to see. Even our best attempts at transparency, when we feel as though we are letting others see the dark side of our thought lives, can be veiled attemps to garner appreciation or affirmation or sympathy. I've done that. I've unloaded on someone and then said "just trying to be transparent"... but I really want them to see how bad I have it or how poorly I've been treated [at least in my own mind]. Ouch.
Instead of living in complete unity as Christ asked us to do, we build denominational walls. Walls of gender. Walls of age. Walls of beliefs. Walls of status. And once we realize the call of Christ and determine to tear down those walls... more often than not we just end up installing more doors. Right? Installing a door to let this group in... but that one is still a little "too fringe" for me. A door to let these people in, but let's keep it shut on those folks that are so "strict" in their beliefs. What about the walls we've built around people who have hurt us? Those within our own church family who have stepped on our toes? What kind of doors to you have installed to let them in on some parts of you, and keep them out of others?
And what about those outside the four walls of our church buildings? What about the lost and dying world we encounter every single day... How many walls do we have built there? How many friends do you have that are non-believers? How do you respond to brothers and sisters in Christ who have walked away from the faith? Jesus had no walls when it came to people... he taught in the synagogue and then ate with sinners. He met the demon-possessed and repentent with the same kind of grace. He still does. Do we?
And worst of all, are the doors we have installed in our relationship with Christ. Do you still have walls built around parts of your heart? Do you still have a door to the world, a place where you can go and visit at will without that pesky Jesus hanging over your shoulder? Hmmm? I do. Have you built a wall of justification around the sins in your life? I have!
I'm going to be transparent here. I don't like writing this right now! And I'm not looking for affirmation or sympathy or any of that. I'm telling you that this revelation has been MIGHTILY convicting for me. I'm not preaching at you friends, He's preaching at me. I've had this nagging thought since I read "with our doors"... and it's taken me at least two weeks to put this post to screen because therein lies the conviction.
I haven't torn down the walls in my life.
I have installed doors.
And I have comforted myself with the thought that with a nice big door- there's LESS wall there.
But there can't be a door without a wall, can there?
I do want to live a life without walls. I want to be transparent, honest, real... I want to get myself out of the way so that Jesus can do His work... in me and in this world. I want to live in unity with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I want to love this lost and dying world with the same passion Christ does. I want to mourn for those who don't know Him. I want to speak to the hearts hardened against Him. But mostly I want more of Him. I want to live FOR HIM. I don't want what this world has for me, because all it has is death and disappointment... but in Christ I find fulfillment and LIFE. Who would want to build a wall around THAT? And with more of Him, friends, the walls will come down. As we seek to become more like Christ we will stop installing doors and instead begin the work of steadily chipping away at the walls.
I am often reminded that one of the last things Christ asked the Father for in the Garden, was that we would live in unity. Why? So that the world would see that and KNOW that Christ was the real deal. And complete unity has no walls. It just can't. We may not get there this side of eternity friends, but Jesus is asking us to try... and the only walls we have control over are the ones we built ourselves. So lets start pecking away and then stand amazed as God moves!!!
Doors that we open and close at will. Doors that we use to let people see what we want them to see. Even our best attempts at transparency, when we feel as though we are letting others see the dark side of our thought lives, can be veiled attemps to garner appreciation or affirmation or sympathy. I've done that. I've unloaded on someone and then said "just trying to be transparent"... but I really want them to see how bad I have it or how poorly I've been treated [at least in my own mind]. Ouch.
Instead of living in complete unity as Christ asked us to do, we build denominational walls. Walls of gender. Walls of age. Walls of beliefs. Walls of status. And once we realize the call of Christ and determine to tear down those walls... more often than not we just end up installing more doors. Right? Installing a door to let this group in... but that one is still a little "too fringe" for me. A door to let these people in, but let's keep it shut on those folks that are so "strict" in their beliefs. What about the walls we've built around people who have hurt us? Those within our own church family who have stepped on our toes? What kind of doors to you have installed to let them in on some parts of you, and keep them out of others?
And what about those outside the four walls of our church buildings? What about the lost and dying world we encounter every single day... How many walls do we have built there? How many friends do you have that are non-believers? How do you respond to brothers and sisters in Christ who have walked away from the faith? Jesus had no walls when it came to people... he taught in the synagogue and then ate with sinners. He met the demon-possessed and repentent with the same kind of grace. He still does. Do we?
And worst of all, are the doors we have installed in our relationship with Christ. Do you still have walls built around parts of your heart? Do you still have a door to the world, a place where you can go and visit at will without that pesky Jesus hanging over your shoulder? Hmmm? I do. Have you built a wall of justification around the sins in your life? I have!
I'm going to be transparent here. I don't like writing this right now! And I'm not looking for affirmation or sympathy or any of that. I'm telling you that this revelation has been MIGHTILY convicting for me. I'm not preaching at you friends, He's preaching at me. I've had this nagging thought since I read "with our doors"... and it's taken me at least two weeks to put this post to screen because therein lies the conviction.
I haven't torn down the walls in my life.
I have installed doors.
And I have comforted myself with the thought that with a nice big door- there's LESS wall there.
But there can't be a door without a wall, can there?
I do want to live a life without walls. I want to be transparent, honest, real... I want to get myself out of the way so that Jesus can do His work... in me and in this world. I want to live in unity with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I want to love this lost and dying world with the same passion Christ does. I want to mourn for those who don't know Him. I want to speak to the hearts hardened against Him. But mostly I want more of Him. I want to live FOR HIM. I don't want what this world has for me, because all it has is death and disappointment... but in Christ I find fulfillment and LIFE. Who would want to build a wall around THAT? And with more of Him, friends, the walls will come down. As we seek to become more like Christ we will stop installing doors and instead begin the work of steadily chipping away at the walls.
I am often reminded that one of the last things Christ asked the Father for in the Garden, was that we would live in unity. Why? So that the world would see that and KNOW that Christ was the real deal. And complete unity has no walls. It just can't. We may not get there this side of eternity friends, but Jesus is asking us to try... and the only walls we have control over are the ones we built ourselves. So lets start pecking away and then stand amazed as God moves!!!
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