20: where i've been

I look back over the whole of my life and I see many mistakes. I see choices that the me of today would tell the me of yesterday to make differently. I see hard roads that could have been easier. Easy paths chosen when the difficult one would have been better.

Yet tonight I am thankful for those places I have been. I am thankful for the layers of me that there are. The way those decisions of yesteryear became who I am today. 

I am thankful for a God who takes a mess, and makes a message.

Tomorrow I will be sharing a bit of the who-I-was. And it won't be easy. It will be history spoken outloud, some of it for the first time. 

But He has asked me to. And if I say I trust Him with my lips, I need to live like I trust Him with my life. Sometimes that looks like the removal of a mask, and standing before a group of women completely transparent, vulnerable, naked. Tomorrow will feel very much like that.

It will also feel a lot like freedom.

And our God is so BIG, that I know the freedom is not just for me. But for someone else that He will speak to through my testimony... not because of my inadequate words, but because of HIS promise that there is POWER in our testimony. 

In the meantime, I covet your prayers that I will be able to speak with honesty and courage. 

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony... Revelation 12:11